I also felt fear today. I'm still on the rollercoaster. I tried to imagine myself being married to someone else, and it didn't seem possible. The fear of being alone for the rest of my life returned. I pictured everything I'd have to go through: meet someone I'm attracted to and who shares the same values, get to really know them, fall in love, and have feelings strong enough to remarry. I don't see my H telling any woman he cheated on his wife and the way he behaved toward me. He'll give her a reason that makes him look good. So it's scary. I guess I'm afraid of being lied to or betrayed again.
Finally, I realized that my H made me feel bad about myself for a long, long time. And I took a lot from him bc I wanted to be a good listener and be kind. But the things he said to me were completely inappropriate. So I feel I disrespected myself by just listening and not telling me what I really thought.
Oh, and I have lots of regrets, including getting married in the first place.
These are my feelings exactly!!! How do you get past this or at lease counter them?
Heartbroken5 Me:38|H:40 Together: 10 years Married:5 BD: May 2013 No children
