Wife said she was done!

[Maritimer]

I painted that picture to remind myself that it wasn’t the correct way to cope with her nagging. When I tried to be an engaging parent I was told I was doing it wrong, I suggested reasonable boundaries while she wanted to free range the boys. Little things like to eat at the table not the couch, not to walk around the house with an uncovered drink as it spills everywhere, don’t play on the road or the neighbors yard as we have plenty of room in ours. She doesn’t look at prices when she buys things, if she wants it she will get it. It doesn’t matter if we don’t have much money in our account and we are trying to budget what little money we do have. I felt no respect from her so I chose to be productive else ware.

I work 11 hours a days 5 days a week and need a bit of space every now & then. She use to get upset when I would leave the house which was not very often. I went on 2 dirt bike rides all of last year & she thought that was too much. So I chose to stay within the yard thinking that would satisfy her but apparently not. I realize now that she wanted me to have more one on one time with the children.

My 3 year old was only diagnosed with Autism 6 months ago. I took that hard emotionally. I guess for the first 3 months I could have handled it better but over the last 3 months I have stepped up tremendously. Taking him to therapy, playing blocks, bath time every night, building snowman, snowmobiling and we will be taking swimming lessons next month.

I am a bit confused on what to do as I would like to talk to her about her depression and grief but with the 180’s it indicates to pull back and to be scarce with words. My distance before is what drove her to have an EA.

What I am doing is to show her how awesome of a person I can be and to make her life more enjoyable and easier. Some of the big changes I made is to be more engaging with the children, help inside the house more, no relationship talk, stay sober, exercise and become healthier, keep a positive attitude, continuing to speak with addiction councilors, read self help books (Finally got the DR yesterday!), walk the dog daily and discuss solutions to help her dysfunctional family.

I will not give up these lifestyle changes as it will benefit me as a person and as a father. If she doesn’t want to try to give this marriage another go all I can do is walk with my head held high knowing I did everything in my power to save this family.