My W is coming over later today to talk about our Son - who is struggling
I'm not sure how you guys are with communicating about this stuff but from my sitch this did not go well at all. It actually went as bad as it probably could have so tread carefully. My kids were only talking with me (still are I guess) and I was trying to keep my W in the loop when something was asked. Since they weren't asking her any questions and her mind was completely around kids are resilient, they'll be fine, they don't even notice, blah, blah, blah that she didn't accept that they were having any issues. It all blew up when my S4's school pulled me aside to discuss a discipline issue and them asking if anything was going on because his attitude changed so I told W what they said. Before this he was a model student with no issue and more the leader of his class (thankfully he's back there now). She went completely off on me for everything (pretty sure I caused cancer and world hunger by the time she was done. She even blamed me for any issue they might have because of D. She said I was probably the one bringing it up to them to make them sad, I made them talk about it, I filled their head with crap, and I was probably talking bad about her. That was all completely false and I tried to explain these conversations weren't fun or easy so nothing I wanted to do but she would not listen to the truth. My guess is she knows it's hurting kids but doesn't want to deal with it because it makes leaving harder so getting mad at me is easier. I hate it but I decided to just deal with things myself for now and not even tell her unless something huge happens. I don't feel this is right but I don't think she's at a place yet to have these conversations. Not saying this will happen to you but just be a little careful with your words.
Quote:
I always find it especially difficult to not turn these conversations into "why don't you come back and work on things" conversations - but I know that's pressure.
So don't do it. If you even think about it picture a clown with a 2x4 getting ready to crack you in the head. Not real sure why I picked clown, anyone with a 2x4 should work
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
