She may not be happy and probably has no idea what will make her that way. IMO that's because she is looking for some external thing or event that will make her that way instead of realizing it comes from the inside.
And yes, you may be stuck cleaning up the emotional messes for a long time. There was a point in time where I was really angry about that too. What I came to understand is that deep bonds are forged in the bad and ugly messes that come up. Those moments will be lost to her.
My D's are starting to build a better (at least different) R with their Dad (it's been 5 years since he moved out). Growing up and counseling (for the youngest 17)has helped. Mostly they tell me it is still pretty superficial. H went to C with D17 for the first time last week. My hope is that my D's have whatever R they want to have with him.
I know you are angry. Time and introspection (perhaps meditation?) willl help. So do those workouts at the gym.
Mach is pretty awesome. I would search his posts and if they work for you....take them to heart.
