No hard evidence of an affair this time but I basically got the ILYBNILWY again on 2/11.
For the last month I thought his stress and lower energy level at home was completely due to so much OT at work (hours he is working are reflected on his pay cheque). It was not until the beginning of last week, with the increasing feelings of isolation and neglect did I start to question things.
Finally was able to talk to DH saying I feel lonely and isolated and that all I need is for him to look me in the eyes and say I love you once in awhile. He responds "I don't know if I love you".
Then I said I need to see your iphone. Reminding him about transparency and that was one of the deal breakers (affair was in 2009). He refused to let me see it so I said I was moving all his stuff down to the spare bedroom. And I don't want to be with someone who does not love me.
Ideally I want our family -the two of us and the kids together - in our home.
If there was a PA, I cannot see that marriage would be an option. I don't think I would ever be able to trust him. If there was a PA, that would be his third confirmed one.
I am holding back and not initiating any talks. And that should not be too hard to do this week if he follows the same schedule being out of the house around 6 (before I wake up) and home around 7:30 (when I am getting the kids ready for bed) and crashing out on the couch before 9.
Feeling at a loss right now wondering what I should do.
