FY, and Busting, thank you! I always need your support and encouragement.
I just received the agreement from the L. I'm going away this weekend, so I'm thinking I should not share it now, bc I don't have time to meet, and my H will be obsessed about "getting things done." I wonder whether I should share it before (i.e. Thursday or Friday) or after my weekend trip. Any thoughts?
I started researching negotiation. I found these types of negotiation styles:
1.Accommodating: Individuals who enjoy solving the other party’s problems and preserving personal relationships. Accommodators are sensitive to the emotional states, body language, and verbal signals of the other parties. They can, however, feel taken advantage of in situations when the other party places little emphasis on the relationship. 2.Avoiding: Individuals who do not like to negotiate and don’t do it unless warranted. When negotiating, avoiders tend to defer and dodge the confrontational aspects of negotiating; however, they may be perceived as tactful and diplomatic. 3.Collaborating: Individuals who enjoy negotiations that involve solving tough problems in creative ways. Collaborators are good at using negotiations to understand the concerns and interests of the other parties. They can, however, create problems by transforming simple situations into more complex ones. 4.Competing: Individuals who enjoy negotiations because they present an opportunity to win something. Competitive negotiators have strong instincts for all aspects of negotiating and are often strategic. Because their style can dominate the bargaining process, competitive negotiators often neglect the importance of relationships. 5.Compromising: Individuals who are eager to close the deal by doing what is fair and equal for all parties involved in the negotiation. Compromisers can be useful when there is limited time to complete the deal; however, compromisers often unnecessarily rush the negotiation process and make concessions too quickly.
I think my style is a mix of accommodating and compromising. The risk with both styles is that I could make quick concessions to preserve the R. So I will have to be aware of this. I'm thinking that if I feel I'm going to make a concession just to "be nice" or bc my H is showing anger, I will ask for time off or to meet at another time. Thoughts?
My H never expresses anger. He never yells, never even says he's angry. He just becomes really quiet and starts making this funny thing with his mouth. So I know how to read him well. Once I see that facial expression, I usually switch to pleasing mode. That said, a phone conversation might be better for me, but I think there's nothing like eye contact to convey collaboration and openness.
