Maritimer, my DB coach suggested a letter for Valentines Day talking about the love your S has given to the family and/or children. No talking about your love or your combined love. I have written one to my W about how impressed I was with the way she loved our boys and the love continued while growning up and now as young men. Yes it might be regarded as reverse psychology, but who cares. I think it is better than nothing and I certainly know that the 180's would be against me giving her a full Valentines Day with all the I love you stuff in it.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
