The ups and downs of DBing

[Wendylon]

Following on my last post, I haven't said that it's H's decision but I haven't given him the usual little lectures I give him about being grown-up and financially responsible (I don't say it using those terms).

I did backslide last night though. We went out for our usual Sunday supper and H ordered wine. He hadn't been drinking since Jan 2. I couldn't help but tell him that it made me worried because there was a pattern of giving up for January and then slipping into drinking too much. H didn't even believe me that he's given up drinking in January before. He has the worst memory in the world. He got irritated and said that he sometimes thinks he'd be better off not drinking just to get me off his back. I figure he should do that then!

He says he's preparing for a charity bike ride in September and that he's going to train properly. I won't believe it until I see it.

He said he'd be back early enough for us to watch Homeland tonight but it doesn't look like it... He's probably had a few drinks with the person he was meeting (about the charity bike ride).

Today I feel that I'm trapped: being with him or being without him are both v. unappealing options. All I want is for him to be different and I know that's a non-starter