People say that it gets easier as time passes and I am sure it will but at this point I just feel awful. She has been back in our bed for the past week. I think because the couch is not very comfortable. I have such mixed emotions on this. I love her being in bed with me however it absolutely breaks my heart to look at her lying beside me knowing how she feels and knowing that I can't/should not touch her.
That's exactly how things were for me when W was still at home. Sleeping in the same bed, but with an invisible wall right down the middle of it. Some nights she would go sleep with one of the kids, other nights she would come to our bed. I never knew what she was going to do. It was painful and it was unbelievably lonely. For me it got a lot easier after she moved out, it took away all the gnawing doubts about how to act and what to do. Unfortunately I don't really have any advice to offer you, but I can definitely sympathize with how you feel and it's not a good place to be.
