Two things, although I think they go hand in hand.
The passivity of acceptance is one. I think an S can accept an SSM or has to basically say "no go". Because it just leads to resentment, actually, on both parts. H tried to initiate, got rebuffed, never said "Look, this isn't working..." and took forever to leave. I don't even know if he would have left if I didn't bring it up.
Bullying is the other. It is a form of bullying, our position is dominant to yours. Is that the way you want a marriage to be?
So you are admitting that you where refusing the H and waiting on him to leave? That you knew you where bullying him behind this?
Not waiting on him to leave, no...but dissatisfied with the state of our marriage? Yes.
And it is a form of bullying. Obviously I cannot say I saw it in our marriage, but I can see it now. When one person subjugates another, it is bullying clear and simple. By saying this is how I see it, or want it and you don't matter....bullying.
