Addressing the "can you ever trust someone" issue again. Speaking for myself, this is something that I have struggled with recently. My ex-W was a hatibutal cheater (ours was basically a 3 strikes (that I knew of at least) and we're done marriage.) I am in a somewhat new relationship (3 months now) with a very very nice woman. Recently she had an old friend (male) come see her who stayed at her house for a couple of nights. I happened to be out of town at the time and she communicated that he was there, and some of the things they were doing together (i.e. going to a hockey game, dinner out, movie, etc.) I immediately had bouts of anxiety and the green monster arising. I had to really do a lot of self talking to myself to remind me that, 1) my new GF is NOT my ex; 2) the fact that she was telling me what they were doing should be looked at as a positive not a negative since if she wanted to hide something she could simply not tell me about it. A few days later when we finally were out together we talked a little bit more about him and I learned that they have been friends for years and she considers him a brother. She asked me if I was bothered by him staying with her and I was honest with her and said that no I trusted her but because of the history with my ex that I admittedly had some anxiety about it initially.
So I guess while I still have some issues regarding trust because of my past, I am working on getting beyond them.
