How to make it work again?

[scaredsilly]

this is all so pathetic! it's as if there's really no hope. i read on here so many women who are lamenting the absence of their H's but go on to say what selfish bastards they were (and still are).

and no, bug, he didn't ask and expected me to read the subtle hints and volunteer. as far as the next time, i'm hoping i made an impression on him that i am a separate human with different needs. it's hard for him to see that.

i think my three H's got used to being spoiled. it's really my fault. i wanted to be such a good wife (translate: mother) to all of them that they not only got used to it, they pushed for more. i don't know if it's them taking advantage of our desire to nurture, the way they were raised by their mothers (i'm guilty, too, with my selfish son) to think they are so special, or the "y" chromosome?

i think my H did begin to realize how much he NEEDS me. i was ridiculous when it came to meeting his needs. i would try to anticipate them, even. i am stepping back now and it will be hard for him.

i had to laugh, to myself, of course, this past week. for years, i would fill up his weekly medicine holder with all the pills and supplements he takes each day. he had to do it for himself after BD.

last week, he put the empty holder by the sink in the bathroom and left it there for a couple of days. in the past, i would have jumped on that and filled it up to keep him healthy and to "show" him how much i cared about him.

LOL! not now. after a few days, he finally filled it himself. i can't go back to being mommy.