Thank you for your input. I realize that in trying to protect my S from the knowledge that H is across the street with the OW, I am also protecting my H from the repercussions of his actions. I do not want to and will not keep the boys from their father ever. I think it will have to be on a more limited basis, with me very detached. I will not share what happened last night, except in general terms if he asks. I believe my next step is to say that if he continues to live across the street, it is time for him to tell the neighbors and the boys so that we can just get the pain of them knowing over with. Their 8 year old friend knows. Though H says this boy (OW son) is discreet and mature, let's face it, he is a child, and he will eventually tell the boys. I was hoping that the boys could build their R with their father back up and learn about the affair later...preferably 10 years down the road...when they might be able to understand it and process it better. But I feel like might as well be now. We can put it in simple terms, at least the truth will be out. We have two appts this week with different therapists and I am making another one who specializes in children. I will see what they think and then proceed from there.
