You know, reading stuff like this makes me want to buy a cabin deep in the woods and become a hermit. Not on your side of things, but your H's.
So if I understand correctly, he is resentful because you didn't do what he wanted you to do? See, I don't get this. This kind of thinking in my mind isn't far off from people that do school shootings. That if a person doesn't get what they want, they can be pixxed. Not because they did anything to warrant getting what they want. Someone/society just "owes" them.
I think mostly it strikes a cord with me because I've been dealing with it forever with my H. My hypothetical exchange with H: H: (walks in, sees me eating) Yum! That looks good! Can I have it? CV: No, it mine. It's 7:00 at night and I haven't eaten a thing since yesterday morning. H: Biotch! You're so freaking selfish!
It's a boundary issue. He doesn't see the line between him and me. He doesn't recognize me as a separate being. And since he wouldn't deny himself, I shouldn't either. It seems like the same thing yours is doing, that he doesn't recognize that you have plans, that your plans are important.
I'm wondering if your H experienced when he was out on his own that the world wasn't going to cater to him like he expects you to? I'm wondering if that's part of why he came back? The fact that you've done that before leads me to believe that you've been pretty catering to him in the past. I don't know how he can be resentful just because you don't cater to him. What is logic/rational for why you should?
