Somebody has a bad case of the Monday's....that would be me... Really annoyed with H this morning. He hasn't seen D since Friday morning. Who goes all weekend without making it a point to see their D?! Typically he comes most days of the week to spend time with her in the morning and take her to daycare. Last night at nearly 9 he texts saying they are slammed at work and he needs to go in early, could I take her. I told him that I really needed to be at work on time (can't do that and drop off D) and he never replies. When I woke in the middle of the night I checked my phone - still not reply - so I wrote him and asked if he could make it over or not. Nothing. This morning I wrote to check one last time - and he replies 'just saw this'. Well, it all seems like bs to me. Says he's already on his way to work and had forgot to charge his phone. Nevermind the fact that he was commenting on FB at 10PM. Grrr.. I hate the feeling of being lied to. And then not being able to really ask. And I really hate when my D asks about daddy.
I'm going to have to make a schedule I guess. Even though I really don't want to.
In other news, I was asked to join a weekly womens bible study small group. I'm pretty excited about it. Had tried to make a 6 week short study group at this church but ended up having to cancel the first night because D was sick. They have daycare during the study group time, so should be fun for D as well.
A few goals I have come up with:
I will be a better listener - not just with H, with everyone. I tend to hurry a lot, which leads tointerrupting and not just listening.
I will quit discussing situation with friends as much - obviously sometimes it just has to happen. But I need to keep a lot more to myself. And just vent on here.
I will plan more things with my friends that do not inlcude 'going out'. I love to entertain, need to have people over more. Although this usually is dictated by others schedules -I'm home a lot lol.
H will contact me to see how I am - this used to happen but since I pulled away, he has too.
I will schedule a time with H to discuss visiting times with D. I've also thought about going back to having him for dinner a night each week - I'm torn on this - it was a good time for us to spend together, good family time. But I don't want to go back to letting him feel like the situation is ok.
I will read Let.It.Go and work on my control issues. I need to catch up on the online bible study going on with this book. It's been a little busy lately.
