How to make it work again?

[scaredsilly]

he tried to make me feel guilty for not wanting do dive 100 miles on a sunday a few weeks ago, to go to a musical event with him. he works in another town during the winter and i've been driving over every week to keep him company (a major complaint he had on BD). i used to stay home.

i had just driven 100 miles on friday to return to our house to get mail, pay bills, run errands, see my grandkids, etc. we had made prior arrangements for me to return on monday morning because he had a meeting with his boss on sunday evening, my normal time for returning.

the boss cancelled on saturday and H had free time so he went to the weekend event on saturday and sunday. he kept telling me how nice it was on saturday and i was pretty sure he wanted me to come back for it on sunday but i didn't take the bait. i didn't want to get up early, drive over two hours with my dog to get to his condo, and then get back in the car and drive the 20 miles to the music festival and walk around for hours.

i had already made other plans. his changed and he wanted me with him so he would have a companion (or as he would say, to share the experience with me).

during our discussion a few days later, it came out that he felt resentment about me not coming. well, i felt resentment about him thinking my plans were not important enough. in the past, he's stated i'm not spontaneous enough and i've complained that he's not courteous enough to give me some advance notice for plans. i'm the one who has to do hair and make up (and outfits) and also the one who gets most of the necessary equipment and/or groceries together.

i think we got through it? but i'm not really sure. i still feel afraid to say no to anything he wants to do. i know he really hasn't "learned to do things by himself" and enjoy himself as he claimed. sigh...