Turtle, find something that works for you and H regarding kids. How about a day? That gives you time to yourself.
Just recently had this convo with H, although mine are older. I confessed that I could not let D14 go (we had discussed him moving in here while I completed school in city) and she preferred the status quo, as it stands (me here), but H here and me in city would be a close second.
It was hard to look at the fact that I needed D rather than really looking at what was best for D. Although, I did tell H that if D had no preference, he could move here to develop relationship and I could move out for the year.
That being said, I also said he had to spend more time with them. And that I needed a break. So do you Turtle. No more defining yourself through your children, as we all do. I know you are deathly afraid of the loss of the "mother' role as well, but it won't happen. You need some time for you.
