PON, I feel for you about the dog. Within a week of my S our dog of 18 years had to be put down and he wasn't even with us, due to being in the country for work. It was such a weird time, the W not wanting any physical contact, but she then needed many minutes of hugging. I did mention to her at a later date that I was upset also, but I didn't get any kind of physical support.
ME:51 W:46 M:25 S:22, S:20 Divorced 16/9/15 BD 10/12 W left 12/12 with OW, affair confirmed Nov/12. Dark since 6/13 I"m in a new relationship since Feb 14.
Thx for all the well wishing on my dog. To be honest even though it was the hardest thing I've gone through in a very long time it was for the best. Me and my W were there together supporting each other.
Together for 8,5 years. S2 Interest in OM. She left 29.09.12 b/c we couldn't work things out. No signs of OM, not digging. Living in seperate homes, sharing custody.
EE is something you need to experience for yourself. It is mind blowing to me. It starts to shape your life in ways you couldn't even imagine before in 3 1/2 days. No matter what your situation you will come out of there a different person.
IF THERE WAS 1 PERSON THAT WOULD NEVER GO TO A WORKSHOP IT WAS ME.
IF THERE WAS 1 PERSON THAT WOULD NEVER GO TO A WORKSHOP IT WAS ME.
IF THERE WAS 1 PERSON THAT WOULD NEVER GO TO A WORKSHOP IT WAS ME.
Not sure what else I can say. It is self growth at its finest. You need to experience to see.
1) I so enjoyed meeting you in person.
2) EE---Agreed. It's hard to explain it to others. Plus, b/c it is "experiential", (as opposed to lectures) they do exercises designed to reveal yourself, i.e., your true reactions, (to you.) A lot of self discovery happens that way.
So if everything is delineated first for you, and explained in advance, you may "edit" your reactions. I know I did that at the MC's office b/c I sometimes knew my real feelings were "wrong" or selfish or just not okay. So I'd pretend, even to myself, that my feelings were different. But at EE, you see what is real for you.
So there are only so many things you can disclose ahead of time, without wrecking it for the participants.
I usually just end up saying "go w/an open mind and heart & trust that there is a process" and hope they do go. I've had 22 friends and family attend it over the years. I've told them, as they get onto the plane, "trust the process" and as cliched as it sounds, it has new meaning for me now.
One person, (A FAMILY MEMBER!!), left EE after 3 hours b/c
1) either it made them uncomfortable (to face their life)
or
2) b/c they could not commit to Not drinking for 3.5 days. I'll never know.
But the rest all "got it."
3) PON, every participant gets out of EE what they put into it. Truly. I know all the participants grew from it and enjoyed it, as they all said. Most will make permanent changes in how they interact w/loved ones or other changes they need to make, even if not 100%. It is life changing if you want it to be.
But you were among the ones who dug deepest & faced some very painful issues. Many of those issues were not of your making.
You were brave and you worked your a$$ off. I want the DBers to know this & to really get it. B/C it's a huge reason your life is changing. YOU DID THE WORK!
You achieved a lot. I'm proud of your work and your growth. I can't say enough about that.
I have high hopes for your marriage.
But more than that, I KNOW you will be alright no matter what happens. More than "alright". You now know how to really connect with another person.
You've overcome a lot to become the man you are.
I know We'll keep in touch.
(((( ))))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
. I was looking at the website yesterday and it sounds interesting.