Husband's GF is going away for 6 weeks. I have basically said I want to sleep with him. Before I get flamed for this, this is my thinking: 1) to reconnect on physical level, hoping to speak his LL, even if for a while since our emotional connection is strong. 2) To see if there is a spark. If it is just a case of wanting what I can't have, then I really have to detach and move forward. If there is a connection, well, I evaluate it and still go forward 3) Necessary because our sex life was crap for past five years and my libido has seemed to come back from vacay. So, was it me, or lack of desire for H or just a case of not compatible...I have to know for me.
H seems to be back and forth, now has recommitted to GF, since I guess she said let's try a committed relationship, so he is not dating. Don't know how he will justify to himself this indiscretion, but I am not the boss of him...so.
Journal:
H said he was coming to clear out some more things today (personal effects). I said the rest can be whenever, he said he would be sooner than later and it was necessary so he could close some loops.
He can't have dinner here, basically can't spend time with me, so what did he agree to with GF? She gets upset if she thinks he is with me, I think. Good thing she never sees the convos. I basically said that H has to spend more time with kids and if he would agree to switching residences every second weekend. He said no, then backtracked and said I could have apt when I needed a break. I said that although, as he said, kids input is important on how they spend weekends, if it meant that kids were 24/7/365 with me or close to, then my input counted as well, because I would need a break.
That I was happy for H to see kids as often as he wanted to, but it had to definitely be more often than now, even though they are D13 and S16. He said it will take years to develop relationship with D, but I said you have to start now...not wait.
GAL'd today with some required training. Asked H to take D to her activity and he drove out to do so. Said thankyou (180) for re arranging your schedule and gave him a bottle of wine. He left it and texted that spending time with D doesn't require gift (yay!) before he would have been resentful, but I was sure to ask, not demand, acknowledge his sacrifice to rearrange schedule and made the lunch. All things I would not have done previously.
He has been nice, flirty and lovely towards me, so have no complaints lol...well for except he is gone lmao!!
Ran the farthest I ever have yesterday for training...hurt, but felt good !!
