Have you read DR yet? It sounds like you need to make that your first priority. You have to stop pursuing her and stop putting pressure on her...that's just going to make it worse.
After DR, I highly suggest picking up The Five Love Languages (5LL). It may help you determine where you've missed your W's needs (and her yours).
What are your W's complaints in the M? What do you fight about? Take that, and decide, what do you want to work on for you? What are the 180s you are trying to implement?
