I was going to go see my Dad yesterday and didn't because W wanted to hang out. I consider this a little backslide on my part, but I did enjoy the day and we did ML this morning so not all bad. At least we've got some physical touch going again, and W is driving that boat.
Great message at church this morning....couple of tidbits:
1) love yourself, because only then can you love others 2) your windshield is bigger than your rear view mirror because the past is less important than your future
I also started to realize how selfish I've been. Not just the surface stuff, the things I have tried to change like doing what I want, ignoring the family, not participating in a lot of things, etc....but by trying to control my whole sitch. I had already decided a few weeks ago that I was no longer going to fight the D....I may delay it, but I'm not going to take the defensive stance I've had on it to date and I'm not going to argue with W about it. But now I think I understand why I should be doing this. It's not because I'm giving up, or because I'm trying a tactic to change W's mind.
Someone recently posted something that kind of stuck with me. Basically telling W, "I don't want or agree with D, but I want you to be happy and if that's what you think you need, ok." I think I'm really embracing that now. I do want my W to be happy, and I realize she has to find her own way and it may mean D, and even someone else in her life. It has really been hard to accept...but I get it now, and I believe in it.
