Hey SG, good to see you back and that you sound solid.
Thank you, not real solid yet but a lot better than the quick sand I was lol.
Quote:
Sounds like your W had to learn how to defend herself early in life in some pretty nasty ways. You're right, you can't fix that.
She really is a great mother and person, she has a habit of swallow feelings until she breaks and it usually is not pretty when she does.
Quote:
How did you answer your W when she said she would do those things?
Good question, I said a lot of right, i understand you want ____ but I did not say anything about the veiled threat. I let it get to me and fell off my validating/mirroring band wagon. At that point I wrote down what was said in my journal and later contacted a lawyer. I will talk with her about the threat when I am done being pissed about it. I was so shocked that she said this that I did not know how or what to say so I said nothing. I figured it was better to not say anything about it and let me work through my thoughts and talk later about it. My emotions were getting ramped up at this point and I said something to the effect of well you left without fighting for us, I know in hind sight not the best thing to say, but it's over and done with. I'll do better next time. Instead of talking about the threat, I took it out in another area of "you left me", part of that proper conflict resolution I need to work on.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
