I know its pressure when I send him emails but I just want him to know I still care for him and love him regardless of all the crap going on. In a way, I feel like I am making up for not showing him in the past that I did love him. I want him to know he has the option and chance to save our family and future, to try and help him see the negative things that can happen that he obviously cannot see. I know, its stupid of me but its how my brain is working right now.
I don't know what giving up means either. I guess it means getting angry, letting go, to stop caring about hurting him and moving forward into a new relationship and allow another man into D's life. Right now I'm scared to fight what I feel is rightfully mine in the division of our assets and home and what I feel is in the best interest of D. Because if I fight against him for what I think it is right, I'm afraid it will ruin any chance that he will want to come home.
