Thank you everyone, I appreciate your concern and thoughts I had to take a few days off from posting to figure some things out. one of the things my wife said was that if I fought her in court (which I do not want to do), she would make it tough for me to see my daughter. Because I travel some for work she said if I missed my time with our D, because of work, she would find it hard to let me have her during her time, the following week. That hurt to know that she would use our daughter as a weapon to try and make me do something against my will. I'm sure she said it out of fear but I still do not like the fact that she went to that place. As the fog lifts off of me, I am realizing the relationship we really had. At first I thought it was all me and I was a horrible person. The more I analyze our relationship the more i realize it was not a good place for me. I posted this before that when we first were married she would slap me and I let it go asking/yelling at her to stop. She finally stopped when I hit her back. As far as arguing she would get nasty and quite frankly I did not fight back because saying FU is not something I want to do. Well... I am done. I am moving on with life, I am going to work on me: listening and validating, empathy, self esteem and proper conflict resolution. My wife needs to fix her, I am done needing her approval.
On a brighter note, I took and passed a motorcycle riding course last weekend, yep it snowed and I froze. However, i passed and had a great time taking the course. Next step is getting my endorsement and renting a few times to figure out what bike I want. I think riding will give me a positive outlet for my time. I also am going to start a meetup group of single Christians and try to start a ministry through my church with lots of outreach, this is where I need to be.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
