New to board-help

[Mtnman]

See my profile below. Completely devastated about what is happening to my family. W started drinking soon after her father was diagnosed with dementia. She never drank before. Started going out with gf's, dressing younger, craving complements etc. BD caught be completely by surprise. She was the most honest, loving, responsible person I have ever met. During BD stated she missed out on dating growing up, even though she had serious relationships before me, and othe mlc stuff (been unhappy for years, never remembers good times, doing me a favor since I can go tag other women, etc). Her family, my family, church family are all beyond shock.

Since moving out (found inappropriate comment from a male on her facebook page, but nothing from her to him that 'forced' her out)she spends every minute of the boys waking hours at home, then leaves to go to bed (which makes it difficult to detach/give space). Spends all of her time on her cell phone. Talks one day of having a future together and the next not. Example, last Saturday she asked me not to force her to divorce that she just needs space, today she says she's only being nice to me for the sake of the children. Difference is she has plans to go out tonight to see a band play. It's the first time she's been 'out' since Christmas. She did say last week that she does not need to spend time with her friends, and two weeks ago that going out wasn't what she wanted to do.

Good news is that sons stay with me at home. They've spent two night with her. Both times they went down at bed time and are home by 8:30 next morning.

It's a sickening feeling and the children are starting to notice. Anyone have advice on how to GAL when you are responsible for children as, practically, a single parent? Does the fact that she stayed out of bars for 5 or so weeks indicate where she may be in the process? She is drinking alone at her place again, after stopping for about two weeks.