The 1.5 hour drive is a perfect opportunity to listen and throw hints that show your changes. How do you think you have bettered yourself, BTW? Mull over this and see how you can bring this into the conversation.
I don't think anyone will say anything at the party. Act as if everything is fine.
Make your H feel comfortable. By you saying that you were uncomfortable about the possible silence, you created an expectation (negative) from his part. So avoid saying stuff like this.
Be appreciative for his help with the snow. My H didn't even call to see how I was doing after snowstorms when he had moved out and was having the A. I guess he was never a caring guy. Once I helped him unbury his car and as soon as we were done, he took off, leaving me with my own buried car :-( At least your H showed he cared.
Eyesopen asked a good Q. Are you not allowing the visitation bc of fear? Don't let fear dominate.
