@stilllookingup: Yes, she wants kids. I do too. But we both had decided that we won't until we have decent jobs.
@MrBond: Yes. Until the beginning of 2010 I couldn't work because of my visa restriction. Then I got permanent residency and started looking for work in that town. But the only jobs available were either the type that required skills (electrician, plumber, construction etc.) or fast food. I didn't have the skills (I was a Finance student) and my stupid ego wouldn't let me work in a fast food restaurant. I understand that was a BIG mistake. But I can't change the past.
Now, I have a job offer in another country. I want to take it since I have no work here. Yesterday, after a week of no contact, I broke down again and sent her a few emails. In the first email, I mentioned I have a job offer in another country and her reply was that its a bad idea. She thinks I'm being erratic again. She only replied to my first email. I was stupid enough to ask her if she thinks there is any chance of reconciliation at any point in the future (I know I shouldn't have). Also, I was going through the cell phone bill (both phones are under my name) and I noticed in the past three months (Nov, Dec, Jan) she sent close to 2200 texts and received like 1500 texts. I don't know if she is having an affair, but is she is, I wish she would tell me. The texts were another thing I mentioned in the email and asked her if there is another man in her life. She hasn't replied to that as well.
She did inform me yesterday; in her reply to my first email, that she has had me removed from our joint lease on the apartment. Our joint bank account is still active and I noticed this evening she spent $200 on clothes. I don't know if this is mid-life crisis or if just trying hard to read into the situation.
Its been 23 days since she first informed me about her desire to divorce me. I'm still devastated and don't know what to do. Being in different cities doesn't help. She asked me not to come see her or call her and I haven't done that so far. But I'm losing hope by the minute. I don't know how much longer I can survive like this. I miss her and love her so much.
