Sometimes it blows me away. My H actually had the audacity to blame his 10-yr-old daughter for missing her birthday. He blew her off because it was on a Friday. He called a 4 p.m. on the day of her party and asked if he could come over. She said NO. He blamed her and made it a joke over Christmas. NO CLUE. Whatever supports the addiction, the disease, the insanity. BUT, the even crazier part is how good they are, despite all this insane behavior, at convincing themselves and others how WE are the crazy ones. Like a 10-yr-old should ever be held responsible for that!
It's very sad.
I'm glad you had the epiphany. I know it's validating and painful at the same time.
You've been a great reminder to me to include the program in this MLC journey. Thank you.
And, how you handled it, didn't go unnoticed. In a moment of clarity, he will see that. He may never reveal it, but he took notice on some level. I think that's the saddest part. They Know. They do know, deep down, how sick they are. But, they give into it. My H has virtually recited things to me that I said back in May, June, August. They remember. They block it out as much as they can, but if they have even a mustard seed's worth of a conscience, they do get it deep down.
Trust the process.
He's where he is supposed to be right now and, God is protecting you from his disease--maybe to spare your children more hurt? Imagine if he DID live with you. I was reminded of the conflict this week. I can see how HP has kept his illness away from us this last year--at least on a day-to-day basis. I stink at dealing with an active addict in the home. I'm terrible at it and my kids always paid the price for that. Distance keeps me from getting too gullible and too vulnerable and helps me keep the focus where it needs to be.
You're doing great. Working the program the way you do, ALWAYS pays off.
Much Love,
Heather
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
