Very affected by a comment stbx made to S14 today.
He told him that "I cannot come to the house any more because your mother is so abusive to me".
Just like his recent comment that he been 'suckered' for years in our marriage, this one made me feel that there is no hope left.
I have spent at least the last 12 months acting as if, appearing happy as a clam, being positive and pleasant and welcoming. And stbx experiences it as 'abuse'.
Maybe I am blind to my own inadequacies.... but D17 castigates me constantly for being 'too nice to daddy'.
Is this just part of the script - to accuse LBS of what they are doing themselves (spewing abuse, 'suckering' family members); is it just really perceptive button-pushing, or am I dealing with real crazy?
You can say don't worry about what he does/says, focus on yourself. But this latest comment has me stumped. Seems like I am just wasting my time.
I am getting on with my life as if he is no longer a part of it (aside from my recent descent into hell with OW) but this just made me stop and think that there really is no point to trying to save a relationship with him. If, after all this, he still experiences me as abusive... there is not much more I can do, DB-wise.
