I'm confused; is he sending the no-contact letter or not?
Re-building FEELINGS toward each other can happen slowly. Re-COMMITTING to the marriage, however, is a decision.
You can't force him to make decisions, but you CAN frame them in the context of your boundaries (an example you just accomplished, "You don't have to write that letter, but I'm not asking my father to borrow any money if you don't.")
