Time flies

[mishka422]

Ok, so I'm obviously completely nuts and irrational! What a shocker huh? LOL

Today, Gabe went to turn in a job application at the corrections facility a couple of counties away. That would be a good thing. A foot back in the door of his career. Of course, that means putting him back in similar situations to what he was before when he decided he was dissatisfied and wanted out. My anxiety level shot through the roof and I haven't calmed myself down all the way yet.

What happens when he gets back in a job that makes him feel like he's contributing in a real way to his own life and he has constant contact with these women that 'speak the same language' as him (law enforcement jargon - like before). He'll realize again that I am boring and too predictable and FAR too...fill in the blank....and he'll walk again. It's that pattern. It's inevitable, but I don't want to discourage him from doing what he wants to do. It's just horrible to feel this way all the darned time.

I know it's my own problem, not his. If I spell out my feelings here then maybe I can process through them better than trying to process them in my head.