OP/EA is irrelevant to my sitch with my H. I don't care about her. She is meaningless to me and to whatever R I create with my H. I can see how she is an obstacle to him coming back, but she is not an obstacle to me anymore. I am the better choice, I know that now, and if H chooses to see that, great. And if not, his loss."
I tweaked it to fit my sitch but it's all the same! Every day I interact with H I have to remember these words because I do tend to hold back based on the fact that ea is still breathing, I tell him he can't have me as long as she's in his life...I'm going to stop that also.
Choosing me makes H feel like he's choosing the looser life he is trying to run away from. I told him that this new way of acting hasn't yielded anything either, he agreed! He even added that it's worse or at least moved us only laterally.
Opinions wanted...why does H keep asking me if his presence here makes a difference and does it mean anything still? What does he want me to say...if I get to complimentary he shoots me down, it's a loaded question. What is he looking for?
Then he says neg things about being away from home, ea and her friends, but is still loyal to that sitch. He thrives on knowing that he is better than them, it makes him feel better about himself. He says how can he ''come home'' when nothing has changed, he'll be walking right back into it all. He's afraid to come back to himself!
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
