thank you Grace, your words mean a lot to me. It makes me sad that the kids seem so "fine". I know the tears come quickly and dramatically...for "un-related" things--a bump on the toe, a mistake on the homework, the injustice of having to go to the supermarket with me now that there is no other adult in the house. Luckily no rage in the home, though I suppose I am the one who would have more of a temper, I wouldn't call it rage.
Feeling sad today and I got really mad after thinking of what the therapist said--how I have been doing more than my share for the whole marriage--and I have received nothing from him in return. Nothing at all. Mad that he has no common decency to at least not flaunt the affair in my face by living across the street. The neighbors will all be out shoveling snow tomorrow (tons of it)...and he will hopefully stay inside and not show his face. It is too soon for my boys to know that. He says he plans on moving out soon, apartment hunting. Let's hope so.
I will be talking to counselor Monday morning--she called today but S5 was able to hear the conversation on bluetooth in the car so I couldn't talk. There is a "Rainbows" program in town for children suffering from loss or changed family...we'll do that too.
If it weren't for ths kids I would be curled up in fetal position under the covers. I am not even joking. I gave those boys life, but now they are giving me a reason to live, giving me a life. What would I do without them and their potty talk to cheer me up?
