EXPERIMENTING with physical touch with W

[MrBond]

" But I have my eye in the prize. This POS OM will NOT take away my wife!"

See, this is what it comes down to. You don't want the OM to win. I understand that. HOWEVER, you'll find that if you don't change things she is going to find another and another. Right now you're so wrapped up in your W and schemes that you spend all the time talking about it rather than your GAL.

"So what I am trying to say is that I need to get into a position where my changes are obvious, enough time has past for W to see some if the effects of her decision,"

No. You don't wait. You do that now.

"and then I need to act in a way that gains me respect and dignity."

No. You start doing that now.

"All I am doing us trying to get the timing right so that the hardline boundaries I set cause her to feel the loads and reconsider, and not cause her to run to OM and into his arms."

You're manipulative and controlling.

"But I understand complete everyone's concerns that i'm not standing up for myself."

Nobody said anything about that. We're saying you shouldn't be happy with the little breadcrumbs that your W tosses your way.

"That part is easy,"

No it's not.

"but will most likely not lead to the result I aNy. As is obvious from the countless people in this forum who stood up for themselves but are now divorced."

That's a low blow. You haven't stayed here long enough to understand people's situations. You only pick and choose situations that you think will get your ahead. You've never read deeply into others' reasons, so it's arrogant for you to act otherwise.

Stop being an @$$hole.

"There will be plenty of time after R to show my wife how hurt I was, and how much pride I had to swallow for her."

Oh poor baby. I can see how you're still thinking only about yourself. You haven't even addressed your W's issues and I'm not talking about the intimacy part.

" Hopefully at that point it will get me more respect because I fought hard for my marriage."

That won't get you respect from your W. It will from others but not her.

"Speaking if gifting hard, my wife said many weeks ago that,'you didn't even fight for our marriage.' Anyone know what she meant or what she thinks fighting for it is? "

They all say that. My W did and countless others. What you continue to fail to understand is that she doesn't want to take responsibility and will blame you for everything. HOWEVER! You have to understand that some of what she says is true.

She wants a man not a child. And right now it always seems like this is a game to you. A game that you have to win. There's no growth in that.