EXPERIMENTING with physical touch with W

[SM34]

I am aware that thus needs to stop at some point. I gave read sandy's thread and her advice to people in my situation, as well as more hardline approaches from Dr. harvey in marriagebuilders. All of this advice points to the fact that the WAS will not begin to look back until they suffer a loss in their lives, as we know that LBS don't change until we suffer a loss also. It makes perfect sense.

I understand completely why everyone is getting on me. I understand the concept if self respect. It's not easy living the situation I am in. But I have my eye in the prize. This POS OM will NOT take away my wife!

So what I am trying to say is that I need to get into a position where my changes are obvious, enough time has past for W to see some if the effects of her decision, and then I need to act in a way that gains me respect and dignity.

All I am doing us trying to get the timing right so that the hardline boundaries I set cause her to feel the loads and reconsider, and not cause her to run to OM and into his arms.

But I understand complete everyone's concerns that i'm not standing up for myself. That part is easy, but will most likely not lead to the result I aNy. As is obvious from the countless people in this forum who stood up for themselves but are now divorced..

There will be plenty of time after R to show my wife how hurt I was, and how much pride I had to swallow for her. Hopefully at that point it will get me more respect because I fought hard for my marriage.

Speaking if gifting hard, my wife said many weeks ago that,'you didn't even fight for our marriage.' Anyone know what she meant or what she thinks fighting for it is? Did she want a fist fight with OM? Any ideas from the ladies? Many people said that was script and to ignore it