I believe my wife is constantly making a comparison with what we have together, to what she has with OM.
You've received plenty of warnings against mind-reading, yet here it is again. You keep convincing yourself that W is just making a bad choice and if given enough time she will see the error of her ways. YOU ARE WRONG!!! You've got to quit thinking this way because it is totally preventing you from taking even the first baby step towards becoming the spouse only a fool would leave.
Quote:
Plus she is slowly realizing that he lives so far that it doesn't even make sense.
Picture a calm, blue glass-like sea with the sun rising over it and birds chirping in the background. This is what YOU think your WAS's mind is like. Perfect clarity and logic. Now picture a sea being lashed by a raging hurricane, skies inky black and boiling, waves like angry claws tearing at whatever they can. THIS is what your WAS's mind is REALLY like. Nothing makes sense in there, everything is driven purely by emotions. In there it doesn't matter how far away OM is, whether he shaves or not, whether he's a couch potato or not. All that matters is he IS NOT YOU!!! That's his number one selling point, and it's all she needs. Because YOU are the only one keeping a scorecard. On your scorecard your points vastly exceed OM's. Here's the problem, your W doesn't even have a scorecard. In that internal tempest there is no coldly calculating mathematician adding numbers together and comparing, there's only some crazy character out of Alice in Wonderland running the show. So you need to not be you if you want to compete with that. You have to convert yourself into a new and improved you, an OM when compared to the old you.
Originally Posted By: SM34
I just told her I don't feel so good because I have a cold and get response was 'ok baby. I will take care of you when you come home'. Wtf??
See what mean? This is why I am anxious to bust up the affair. I feel like it's the hurdle for our M being worked on right now.
Am I being naiive?
No, you're being stubborn. You've already been told she's cake-eating, yet you continue to cling to the crazy notion that when she does this that it's some kind of a positive sign towards reconciliation. It's not. You've also already been told that you CANNOT "bust up the affair". Any intervention on your part will just drive W right out the door and out of the M, because it's (say it with me) controlling and manipulative behavior. Besides, the A is a symptom of your marital problems, not the cause. You need to look in the mirror for the cause. So, what are you doing to change the man in the mirror?
