. H talking about OW#3 and working on a new project with her, just like it could have been anyone. Just as he has talked about other co-workers in the past, bringing to mind the question of has he been cheating on me with others long before this too? I threw in some digs at her, like, she looks a lot older than she is; I was expecting someone more attractive kind of digs. Low, low I know. I couldn’t help myself.
i've been in this position - i wonder too - it's scary how like my sitch this is. i can't stop a dig or two either- we are humans aren't we?
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That brought him to talk about some of her insecurities she has shared with him about herself. Does he not realize that these are not things he should be concerned or talking about with other women?
i don't know how you could endure it- i'd have had to stop him or leave. i try- i swear- but i cannot even imagine listening. other than wishing she fell off the planet- i have no interest in a darn thing about ow- (any of them) and they could go die for all i care. you're a very strong person to even listen).
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I have never seen such strong negative feelings towards his dad. I
geeez - this dad junk too. my h has got SOME giant junk with his parents. had it in check when working & young - we're too old for it to surface now- but per snodderly's very sound observations - deal with it now we are: my h had a nazi father (still a real prissy - self-involved guy) and a selfish beautypuss mom- still is. my h is workin like mad to connect with his d after 40 yrs of notmuch. step mom is dead and he's "got hinm all to himself" - i can hardly believe it.but it seems like something big- your h too?!!!
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About how his dad was affected by things I had said, and how he acknowledged he should have let him know he was proud of him more often. H wanted his dad to realize just how successful he is.
i never said any of this tomy h's dad- but someone whould have somewhere along the line. can it be as simple as that? geeeez - you're opening my eyes here- this is ssame kind of junk my h has - but hardly says......
I AM GOING to think about your post here and manage to engage him in conversation and get this junk about his dad out a bit more in general in life- see if it can somehow help somethign with him- us, whatever...
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I touched on the lack of emotional support he had growing up, how things were suppressed,
things for my h were just being the kid (possession) of two people who were incredibly in love with self- cheated on each other- ditched kid for beautiful other spouses who were RICH toboot (wierd m.o. huh?) but they both did. him and their m came second - period.
BUT - then, howcome my unqualified love and attention in hislife counts for nothin? he doesn't even think it's one thing good- just valueless. he did select me- wtf?
any wisdom about that? how the heck our total devotion somehow became a burden rather than a treasured possession?
and why they stay "tied" somehow to us.
good luck- interesting & pertinent stuff so thanks for sharing.
