Confused compass?

[JJAC2005]

Cadet.....and to anyone else that has any advice at all
I am at a complete loss of thought....

First let me share my letter to my W that was meant as a closure/atonement/moving on to a different place for both of us.

To "W"
This letter is not intended in anyway to try to change your mind on anything; I understand that we are divorced…that we are no longer a couple.

I am writing you this letter because you deserve to know that I understand what our marriage, and what being married to me was like for you. This letter is long over-due.
I did things in ways that didn’t make sense and that sent messages that were confusing and/or inconsistent to what that I was feeling or saying. I did things to make you feel under-appreciated, undesired, insecure, and most of all, unimportant, and not included, or the number one priority in my life.
I want you to know that I finally see things from exactly your point of view, and I get it.

The tragedy of our divorce has delivered me to a knew found place of knowledge, giving me an incredible wake up call as to just how much my behavior hurt you and how terribly contradictory it all was to what I wanted for us to be. I see now just how incredibly selfish and blind to your needs, wants and desires I had become….and I was not as family orientated as I thought I was being. I cannot tell you enough just how sorry I am for all the pain I put you through. There are so many lessons that I needed to learn about so many things, and I see the value in everything we have gone through for what it has taught me.

We are both moving on from a very emotional time in our lives. The end of hopes and dreams we thought would be together are now new beginnings for each of us. I am making peace with my mistakes, and am excited to be on a different path of learning to be a better person, partner, and friend. I would like you to know that I have always enjoyed our times together, and feel that it would be worthwhile to continue to have a friendly and respectful relationship, as I value you tremendously for your insight, your intelligence, your wit, your humor and as the unique individual you are….you are without question a very special person.
I would be grateful to be able to have you in my life in any way….and I would be honored to be your friend.

It would be nice to be able to enjoy a cup of coffee some time…..or to meet for a short walk though the park or woods with the dogs as I know they would enjoy seeing you now and then as well.
May you find all the peace, joy and happiness you need and deserve.
Take care, and thank you for all that you are…..
Me