tonight we are having a huge snow storm (feet of snow)....the first real slam of the winter....and all I want to do is run over and get the kids in the morning to go sledding and snowshoeing at the Forrest Sled area....followed up by a great lunch out at their choice! (We always loved days like this) I miss days like this so much I even feel like helping shovel the drive and walkways......BUT I know I cant....I cant do any of it! And I wont do any of it!!! I cant call write or text the kids...I have to go thru her! And she wants me to move on...she wants to bury any/all of our good times with anger from anything I have done from any point along our traveled life together. Going dark...giving her her space....she can go on, move on, see who she wants, date, do what ever she wants, and Im just left to work on me, my life, my goals, and miss everything about a family that I had, and cant access in anyway....and find it hard to understand how I would even stand a chance at getting her to start any sort of communication with me when there really isnt any reason to.
I must confess....I find this all very unsetling that it has any chance of working
M 52 W 40 D 15 (step) S 12 (step) Married 7, together almost 8 Separated 1 year before bomb from her "I love you, I'm just..." BD final 8/22/12
