Confused compass?

[JJAC2005]

To answer the above situation on the kids:
Yes, I very much help raised the children....and am very proud that they accepted me with as much love as they did.
They have always chosen to call me "dad" or "D2" and before we filed for D we sat down and told them that they could call, text, or email me whenever they wanted, but they did have to let their mother know that they were contacting me so she wouldn’t get worried about anything.
This came about due to a series of text messages one day, that our daughter had with me about a boy that she had a crush on. She had asked me a few questions on how she could tell if he liked her. What she should do…ect
I actually could not have felt more honored or proud, but I felt that I should give my wife a heads up on the situation in order not to seem like she was excluded…but at the time I went to her I told he to be careful not to wreck that trust D15 was showing me, I also explained that she should feel good that D15 was trusting me and felt that I was a safe and secure person to go to if she needed to talk….and that is a great option to have in a teens life when there is so much going on. Well as you might have guessed, my wife was a bit jealous, a bit angry, and hurt that she wasn’t the one D15 turned to….and honestly I think something had to have been said, because D15 hasn’t really reached out in the same way since….but it could be the age thing as well, who knows?
Now since our BD, a month after we (the wife and I) were still seeing each other until one day she just said that it was no longer going to work and that she didn’t want to work on it any more…and want me to move on with my life….and she was doing the same…..and that she felt that I was a good man, just not good for her. And after that she basically broke off any and all communication except for a few times as mentioned in previous postings……
The boy called me back in mid Nov….basically trying to hold back tears on the phone that he missed me and loved me and that it had been such a long time since we had seen each other that he wanted to know if I was doing alright….he’s a great kid with a huge heart….and even if it had been almost 3 months since he had spoken to me he still called me “dad”….and my heart still aches each time I think about that call.
Since then…it has been W denied me any and all contact with the kids.
Now that brings me to where I am now…just about totally dark.
I sent out a letter as requested by my DB counselor….and I wanted to ask one more time about the kids, to which she suggested that I wait at least anotehr10-14 days till sending another very short, and specific letter as to being open to seeing the kids every now and then, as well as an offer to the W to bury her ailing 18 year old cat with the rest of our past pets out on the farm.

I’m at a loss as to how long you wait to hear anything from the WAS before making any sort of contact ….very confused at this point?
One good day, followed by 2 bad ones…can’t wait till it turns the other way around