Hey there! Sorry things are looking so bleak for you at the moment! I know exactly how you are feeling and it really hurts, big time!
I was reading through a few of your recent posts and you shouldn't be so hard on yourself for making what you view as "mistakes". These are really nothing more than natural reactions to terrible circumstances. What you need to do is try to learn from them and avoid making them again in the future. You should know though, that you will in fact make them again.
It sounds like your W is on the fast track to getting a divorce. But you don't have to be on the train with her. I believe that you can slow roll your way along and hopefully buy yourself time. The thing is, often affairs have a way of fizzling out once life takes over. You just need to hang on and work on getting your head in the right place.
17 months ago, my W said the same things your W has said. I was stunned, sad and I pursued like crazy. All of which drove my W further away. The key to everything is give more space to your W than you think is possible and add an additional 50%. The more distance you put between your emotions and your W the better.
Don't go checking to see if she is noticing either. It will only make you crazy. Right now, you need to focus exclusively on yourself and your child. Emotionally your W should be completely out of the picture, because frankly, she is!
Keep up your posts here and others will come along soon enough to share insight and guide you. If you are having a weak moment, come here and steer clear of your W.
None of this is going to be easy, but it is necessary as you work to improve yourself and focus on getting your head and heart in the right place.
I wish you well, Intact.
Me51 W53 S17 S14 M22 T25 Bomb-9/11; A-11/11; I move out 11/11
It's easy to find our bottom, it is our top that requires cultivation.
Every rough spot adds to our emotional constitution. -Barney Fife
