The reason why I am making the appointment (H offered) is that I wanted to choose someone that would be GOOD. He would just pick the first person he found on the internet and call it done. There is too much at stake for that kind of thing. My friend is a psychotherapist and has a network of professionals to pull from. She found me a great guy--expensive--we will see how that works out--who will hopefully get him the help he needs/we need. H said yes he would make appt for him and then another one for us to talk about coparenting.
I told the therapist that I had found the session thought-provoking...but that my H wouldn't last 5 minutes in this intensely emotional environment. T said well I would have a different approach for him. You are strong, so I talk to you this way. I wouldn't talk to him this way. I didn't know my strength showed. Was glad to have it recognized. He also said--where is your anger? GOOD question. I am mostly sad. Not angry. Numb still...but beginning to take it all in. Horrific. Boys said they feel "fine" like daddy is at work. He was so absent in their lives I guess the impact isn't as big as I thought it might be. Still crying and angry...but maybe they will be better than I thought.
