ok...per the advice of another I will try to stick to a single thread.
Ealier I wrote: OK...a new thread of sorts for me on this area of DB’ing I have done the work required to get me to the point of: GAL - Apology/acceptance/moving on letter - Disconnect – and going dark w/a few slips)
Now here is where I am starting to feel the slide (again)…….even though my head/heart wants to so desperately gain information about the W’s thoughts/feelings…I understand I need to leave it alone (plus I’m afraid I will mess things up further)
On another not so different note, I wanted to send out a “friendly” follow up contact to let her know that; 1) I would still like to see the kids if that is ever an option (she has refused any visits or calls since mid Nov.) 2). Give her to option to have her cat or 18 years, that is sick to be buried out in our pet cemetery with all the rest of our pets when it is time for him to go. I was instructed (DB counselor) to wait it out for a while after my atonement/moving on letter …10-14 days….and I just sent out my last contact “the moving on letter”
Any other opinions/advice for the novice DB’r? ________________________________________________________________________________________
#2320773 - Today at 03:37 PM Re: so hard to go dark [Re: JJAC2005] Cadet Member
First try to stick to one thread it is less confusing that way.
I think you should absolutely try to see the children, do you really need to contact her for that? Or could you contact them directly? The girl is 15, sounds like she should be old enough to decide for herself.
I am assuming that you helped to raise these two children.
Try to keep the contact with the W to a minimum _________________________
Thank you Cadet.....any and all advice is appreciated!
M 52 W 40 D 15 (step) S 12 (step) Married 7, together almost 8 Separated 1 year before bomb from her "I love you, I'm just..." BD final 8/22/12