I'm out of town on business again. Gonna be gone for about a week. I have said before that my wife looks forward to my departures. She has our girls and the house to herself. Gets to live her life without me being around. It's really like being separated but without the official paperwork. Before I left, she asked me if I was going to be taking my truck to work. (Sometimes I get a hired ride.) I asked her why she asked. She said no reason. Just curious. ???? What's up with that? Weird.
Haven't heard from her at all. Been gone for 2 days now. I have texted and called purely for logistics. I will get a one word reply and that's about it. Time to go dark. I really don't think I will hear from her at all unless the house is on fire!
When she was out of town for a week and I had our girls, I started hearing from her quite often. That was when I received an invitation from her for our couples' massage. I think that was because she missed the girls, and I think she was surprised that she didn't really hear from them or me. It is much more difficult for me to maintain radio silence when I am gone than when I am at home with our girls.
I did call her today about something important, but I screwed up by talking over her about the subject. I realized my error and apologized right then and there. I really need to work on listening and not talking all the time. This has been another complaint she has expressed and I think it dovetails into my controlling nature. I REALLY need to eliminate this habit. Any tips? I do not like the fact that I am this way. Maybe I do this so I don't have to work at at. It is much easier to have a monologue than a conversation with someone when you feel vulnerable to that person.
No major changes on our situation. That is something to be thankful for. Wife still lives at home. No separation. No divorce. I did find an address entered into her car's GPS as an active destination one day a couple of weeks ago. It was the address for our state's Health and Human Services Dept. I found that a little frightening.
I do know that, although I am trying, I have not detached. My heart went up into my throat for a second when I thought that I saw she had eliminated her married status from FB. I was mistaken, but it served as a wakeup call to me that she still has the ability to rock my world.
I have been reading:
5LL's The Power of Positive Thinking DR by Michelle Love Must Be Tough If Only He Knew: Understanding Your Wife Winning Your Wife Back 5 Languages of Apology I Promise How 5 Essential Commitments Determine the Destiny of Your Marriage How to Improve Your Marriage w/o Talking About It
I should become a part time shrink!
I have really come to realize that my wife thrives on touch and quality time. I remember her telling me about 6 months ago (when she was wanting me to give her space) that she wanted me to be sure to give her body contact such as hugs and kisses.
Since that time, our situation has deteriorated drastically. Touch is out of the question now. It has been for about 3 months. I am taking AS's advice and assuming this to be because of an emotional or physical affair. I figure if I plan on the worst, I might not be crushed as badly when I encounter the truth.
Quality time is my only open door to her, and that seems VERY difficult to come by and it has to be by her invitation or I'm viewed as pursuing and pressuring. Its challenging when I'm gone half the time and then the remaining time I have, I must tread carefully like all of us here do.
I really do wish I had much better people skills. That is not one of my gifts. Another chance to learn!
I think I am going to go to the mall, bolster my new wardrobe and enter into some conversations so I can continue improving myself. Thanks for listening!
