Well done Vero! I am so happy to read your news!!! So much love to you and a big busting hug ((((((((( )))))))))
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
Another day with little energy to work on R, but I did it. I left him a note on his car.
I fell in love with your... sense of humor.
I didn't feel excited about leaving it. Instead I felt as if it's just another day. This is so much harder. I think this is exactly how he must've felt shortly before the affair.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
I'm so amazed at how much I've learned this past year and a half.
I know that I would've never grown so much in such a short amount of time.
Yesterday my older brother was angry and blamed my siblings and I for my mother's depression. I've learned to detach from these attacks. So have compassion for my brother and definitely to not take his anger personally.
I would've NEVER perceived yesterday's interaction with such humility. THANK GOD! Seriously! I would've defended myself and attacked him. Instead I've been thinking of sending him a text telling him that I'm sorry he's hurting. I hope he can rest knowing that we all care about my mother. And that I love him very much.
WE DON'T COMMUNICATE THIS WAY! Instead we get angry, we cry, we storm out, we ignore. I'm done with unhealthy patterns!
I don't want my children to treat each other this way so I need to be the example.
On another note, I decided to take a leap of faith and be vulnerable. I've been reading After the Affair and learned that although we don't feel comfortable making moves towards each other, it needs to be done a few times in order to feel comfortable.
So I called H and asked him if when we go to dinner on Tues we could hold hands. I said that if we do it often, we'll eventually feel comfortable. He agreed.
I gotta say, we only held hands maybe the first year we were dating. After that, nada. So this is BIG!
I decided to move over to the piecing thread. I was so reluctant to do so because, ugh...I'm sure you all have an idea. The fear of going there and then having to come back because it was a fluke. But I'm going to dive in with my eyes closed cuz I'm a big chicken but at the same time very courageous.
I will check in here once in a while and of course check in on everyone else.
Final thought. Enjoy the journey cuz it's quite a ride!!
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
Hello all! I decided to keep both the piecing thread and newcomers thread. I believe that although we aren't doing it well, we're piecing and since I STILL feel like a newcomer, I'm staying ;-)
I wanted to share that 6mos ago, H eluded to wanting to work things out but didn't want to give any concrete answers. Instead he'd say to wait, give it time and he didn't want to give me false hopes. It hurt. A lot.
Now he corrects me when I say, If things don't work out... He says, they WILL! It kinda bothers me. He feels so confident about it but now I'M the one that doesn't.
I got to thinking, I don't trust him AT ALL! How can I be with him if I don't believe him?
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
