I just finished lunch with my H. I'm glad it's over. I was nervous about it last night, didn't feel like going this AM, and now that it's over, I don't feel good.
In the past, when we met, I had hope within me, and I saw every interaction in a positive light. Now, it was just sad. He didn't look so good--kind of disheveled. I did most of the talking. I was cheerful, and told him the fun stories from my trip. When I asked about him and his activities, he said he had been playing sports, then added that he probably should not share anything about his dating. I said that I didn't need to hear about that, then added that I assumed he didn't want to hear about my dating either. He quickly said no. I said I wanted to open my heart to someone new. "You should," he said. Then I said you couldn't really force those things, and had to wait till you were ready. He said I was definitely right about that.
I don't know. The whole feeling of the time we spent together was bad. He checked out the waitress, asked me to give him back his keys (I had kept a copy) and asked if I had extra dishes to give him. He asked about the L. I told him I would send him the agreement as soon as it was ready.
I said we shouldn't let the money talk interfere with our R. He agreed, and said we would find a way to work it out. Added that he changed his tax filing status as single. Now that I'm writing about this I realize why I was left w a bad feeling. It's bc all the things he said. When I dropped him off at work, I just wanted to cry. Not a good feeling.
