This morning H asked me to ask my dad to let us borrow money. He is aware of my reservations about this but said we are very behind financially and will be able to pay him back next month.
After he left I thought a lot about why it bothers me so much. 1-I know my dad will say yes since he's offered before. 2-I know H will pay him back 3-I know my dad won't hold it over my head (since we'll pay him back) However there was still something bothering me...
I realized I don't feel comfortable asking my father for money when H has not fully committed to the relationship. He says he wants to come back and has shown steps towards coming back, etc. BUT I am not completely convinced.
In other words, I don't want to feel like a doormat.
I called H this morning and told him that I would be more than willing to ask my father for the money but need to know he is fully committed to reconciling. I would need to see a letter from him to OW. I want to see that he is ending communication with her family and friends and her because he is working on his marriage. I will edit the letter as I see fit and mail it out myself. When I see the letter, then I will call my dad.
He said ok. He was here tonite and didn't mention the money or the letter... I'm not going to assume but if he decides not to write the letter, I'm seriously ok not reconciling.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
