I don't think he does believe that I admit to any fault at all. But I have apologized, although it was months ago, right after he left. I didn't see where I should bring up anything like that anymore, as it seemed more R talk. Plus, from the way he always words it, it seems like more of owning up to things to others, not exactly to him. And I'm not sure how to do that really. I think he has it in his mind that my family and friends will contact him if I tell them things I've done. That isn't going to happen - no matter who's fault, my family and friends see it as his way to solve things was to leave - much less, he began acting odd prior to leaving, most of them noticed before I ever said anything about having problems.
When he left, I was nagging all of the time, wanting time with him, wanting to do things with him and for him to make me and our family the top priority. I also did not trust him and made remarks when he was in contact with his friends that were girls etc. I believe I have been doing the 180 on these things fairly decently - with a few exceptions. It goes along with GAL - I don't bother him about his plans, do not make comments on how much time he spends practicing, etc, don't inquire about who or why he's contacting others (now he does this to me constantly)
And lots of his issues with me comes from him saying I ignored him for 3 years. I apologized over and over for this, tho I did say I don't think our relationship was like that, but I was truly sorry if I treated him that way, I couldn't change it now but I was sorry.
I'm just even more confused these days. Before I tried to detach more and have less contact with him, it seemed like things were going better. I would still have expectations tho and end up hurting again. So the detachment does better for me, but I dn't think it is good for our relationship. On the other hand, I don't want to go back the other direction because it seemed like I was sending him the message that he could come here and play family a few days a week, ML with me etc and then go do as he pleases - that him not living here was ok.
I started reading up more on goals and looking thru the section here in the forums but am truly at a loss as to where to start. He also always accuses me of changing who I am, so going back and forth just solidifies that for him.
