I don't know how long I can hold on without "SOME SIGN", whether it be a good sign or bad.

You can hold on to what without a sign from her? Being the man you want to be?

Isn't that what you're doing, becoming the man you want to be, a man only a fool would leave?

The statement above from you makes it sound as if your changes aren't real.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss