FY, I wouldn't do the touching of the shoulder, etc. for a while. I think the verbal affirmations and validations are what she needs right now. Touching, to me, would be considered pursuing and that you are making it "personal". She's not ready for that. Follow her lead on this when the time comes.
Do not tell your wife that you are not waiting as this is pressure and can be seen as an ultimatum. Actions speak louder than words, i.e., join a dance class, book club, go to the coffee shop, go to the gym, etc. By doing these things, it lets her know that you are not sitting there watching and waiting for her.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
